Early Beginnings

My unfortunate relationship with men started from a very young age. 

I'm pretty sure I had my first boyfriend when I was about 10 years old. Playing kiss chase in the playground, splitting up and getting back together approximately every 5 and a half days, having multiple boyfriends at once and feeling like an absolute player - I assure you I am nothing of the sort. 

I remember being at family parties and in-between dancing the Cha Cha Slide and helping myself to the beige buffet, I would sit at a table with my J20 staring longingly at the door wishing one of my men would whisk me off my feet and slow dance with me or better yet rescue me from this dreadful affair and we'd run off in the sunset on an adventure. I'm not sure what kind of adventure a 10 year old child could have with a random boy but one can dream. 

Slow dancing was always the main thing I wanted them to do with me, to have everyone else stare and wish they had the loving relationship we had after 3 days (still 2.5 days left of the relationship let's not forget). I think this specifically came from being at a Girl Guides party - the Scouts were allowed to join us and as you could probably tell I was thrilled. I saw the older kids slow dancing to Robbie Williams - Angels (yes it's still one of my favourites for this very reason) and thought, wow, one day I will have someone slow dance to that song with me. Can you believe it hasn't happened yet? 

The sheer audacity of my many childhood boyfriends firstly not turning up to my family party to whisk me off on some form of adventure and secondly not one boyfriend I've ever had has slow danced to Robbie Williams Angels with me... I find it quite rude to be honest...

If I ever find myself a new boyfriend I will put 2 x things at the top of the list of my many requirements. 

Firstly: You must rescue me from every family party I am forced to endure. I see this as a literal rescue now as my J20 has turned into an entire bottle of Prosecco and I will need to be carried out and put to bed. A regular occurrence of my life now but not by a lovely gentleman, no... now it's one of my poor friends' job. I say it won't happen again but it always does... anyway I digress! 

Secondly: to slow dance to Robbie Williams - Angels with me. Not too much to ask, right? 

Stay messy xo